Goddess Lorena's Advice:
There are two very important things to remember if you want to
peak Her interest:
#1. She must know what you are doing is for Her and not just for
you. If She feels you are being selfish and are only using Her,
and manipulating or forcing Her into fulfilling your fantasies
then She will not be as willing to try them.
#2. Instead of trying to get Her to like what you want to do,
you must learn what She likes. Once you find out what She
likes and you get Her interested in trying it then you can always
try to incorporate some of your own fetishes later when She is
willing to experiment further.
In other words, first you must serve Her to find out what She
likes (and while doing so let Her know you are doing it for Her)
then slowly introduce other fetishes one at a time to see what
She likes most and what She does not. If you introduce too much
too soon or again if She gets the impression that you are trying
to manipulate or train Her then She will back away from the interest
quickly and may not be willing to ever try it again.
Step One: A good way to start serving Her might
be to wash the dishes and cook for Her because it is not such
an obvious hint of anything kinky so it is something She may accept
more easily without being suspicious of what you might be up to.
Most Wives want their husbands to help out more about the home
with the domestic household chores anyways and besides, you should
already be doing such things for Her.
Step Two: The second step would be to try a more
pampering approach, such as by massaging Her feet. Most Women
like being pampered and looked after which is why so many Women
go to hair salons, nail salons, retreats, and spas. Do not try
anything kinky at all, such as cleaning Her feet with your tongue,
until at least the fifth time you have massaged Her feet or you
risk Her being shocked by your actions and She may never let you
near Her feet again.
Bathing Her is another way to serve Her. (Note: If She seems shy
about being served in this way then be in the bath with Her when
you bathe Her, whereas if you find She likes the idea of being
bathed by you then you should try the more submissive and subservient
approach of not being in the tub with Her.) Hand feed Her caviar,
cheese and crackers, grapes, strawberries, chocolates, or other
snack food that you know She likes. Play soft music and have Her
favorite wine or champagne chilled on ice close by. Do not forget
other important pampering items such as bubble bath, candles,
bath salts, poufs, loufa sponges, etc. Also, dry Her off afterwards
and massage Her skin with body oil or lotion while She lays on
the bed. Put a towel underneath Her so you do not stain the bed
sheets with oil/lotion and rub the oil/lotion between your hands
each time before applying it to Her skin so that it is not cold
when you apply it.
If by now She has become enticed with the idea of being served
by you and She has even stated an interest in trying to dominate
you or in making you Her slave (If She has not then go to Step
Three) then you must not waste another moment and you should develop
this new interest She has by watching a Goddess Club video with
Her since these videos have been filmed by Dominant Women with
the thoughts and interests of Dominant Women in mind and they
star both experienced and novice Dominant Women. I suggest these
three as being the first ones you watch with Her:
Caring for a Goddess's Feet
Bathing a Goddess
Egyptian Goddess
If She seemed quite comfortable watching any of those three videos
then the next videos to watch with Her would be:
Goddess Party
Ladies Tea Party
The next would be:
How to Worship a Goddess
Ladies Prisoner
and any other Goddess Club video which shows the particular fetishes
She had shown a positive interest in.
Step Three: If She was comfortable with step one
and two, with you serving Her in less obvious ways, such as doing
housework for Her, massaging Her feet, or bathing Her but She
has so far not shown any interest in being Dominant with you while
you did these things for Her then you must find an easy way to
introduce this idea to Her. you most likely are worried about
doing this because you fear scaring or shocking Her and maybe
even losing Her altogether if She becomes completely repulsed
by your fetish interests. To prevent Her from feeling this way
you should only introduce one fetish at a time so that you can
see how She reacts to it and to find out which ones She likes
more and you must also introduce it in a not so obvious manner.
The best way to do this is to watch a mainstream movie with Her
which shows scenes of a fetish and then watch Her expressions
when She sees those scenes. Do not question Her about the scene
until AFTER the movie. Once the movie is finished, ask Her how
She liked the movie, which scenes She liked most, which scenes
She did not like and why, then ask Her (as though you are asking
just out of curiousity) what She thought about the scenes in which
they had showed the fetish.
Step Four: If She has now stated or shown some interest
in trying some fetishes, dominating you, making you Her slave,
or being Dominant then the next step would be to watch a Goddess
Club video with Her. Again, this is very important because these
videos have been filmed by Dominant Women, starring both experienced
and novice Dominant Women, and with the thoughts and interests
of Dominant Women in mind. I suggest these three as being the
first ones you watch with Her:
Caring for a Goddess's Feet
Bathing a Goddess
Egyptian Goddess
If She seemed quite comfortable watching any of those three videos
then the next videos to watch with Her would be:
Goddess Party
Ladies Tea Party
The next would be:
How to Worship a Goddess
Ladies Prisoner
and any other Goddess Club video which shows the particular fetishes
She had shown a positive interest in.
Step Five: Once She is comfortable watching Goddess
Club videos, She will be ready to be introduced to the BDSM scene.
But I recommend you first show Her websites such as this one so
that She can learn more about the scene (and from a Woman's prospective)
before meeting kinky minded people (since some people in the scene
are more saner that others and She needs to learn the difference
before meeting them in person.)
I wish you well.
My blessings,
Supreme Goddess Lorena of Goddess Club and Queen of Femaria
Copyright © 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004,
2005 GoddessClub.com, All Rights Reserved.
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worshipper slave bruce's Advice: "The best way to do this IMO is to start
slowly. Start treating Her like She is a Goddess, as being Female
She is Superior to you. Volunteer to do little things like doing
the dishes and wash. Serve Her breakfast in bed. Be more attentive.
Perhaps one night when you are both watching television you might
volunteer to give Her a foot massage or even paint Her toenails.
Offer to wash Her hair. After starting slowly like this, you might
then start bringing up SM topics over dinner. Tell Her you heard
that "Exit To Eden" is a good movie and suggest renting
it. While you are watching it mention to Her how having an island
like that is really a great idea. By this time, She should have
begun to understand your submissive needs and hopefully will relish
taking control of you and treat you like the slave you are."
worshipper slave c.'s Advice: "One of the most difficult
things a person can do is to reveal their inner most thoughts
and feelings to someone else, especially if they are not openly
considered mainstream and normal. This can be an even more daunting
task if it is your Wife, to whom you have never previously given
any indication of your interest in D/s. She may naturally feel
betrayed and that She married some sexual pervert under false
pretenses. The sense of betrayal She will feel will be magnified
many times over if you have been seeing professional Mistresses
to satisfy your need to submit to a Female.
A gradual introduction into D/s, in non-threatening, 'normal' day to day activities may be one way to getting Her used to Female Dominance. Start by doing all the housework, that includes cooking, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, doing the bed, vacuming, as well as anything else that needs to be done. Have your Wife sit at the head of the table at meal time, never begin eating before She does. Wait on Her hand and foot. Ask for Her opinion and differ to Her wishes at all times. If nothing else, this will establish a Female Dominant/male submissive relationship, which a Woman will definitely recognize, without the negative sinister connotations of dungeons and torture.
The Female Dominant position can be extended in your sexual relationship by always performing oral on Her, ask Her to mount you so that She is on top, never come before She has and begin asking Her for permission to come. This will gradually reinforce the concept of Female Dominance with Her. At the same time you can introduce Her to mainstream movies that have D/s scenes in them, to gauge Her reaction as well as hinting at your interest and that it may be fun to try. A word of caution is to avoid anything that relates Female Dominance as male hating, abusive and evil, done in dark and forebodding places; which unfortunately the majority of films depict, influenced by a patriarchal society, threatened by the ever increasing power of Women.
Any literature on Female Dominance, such as books, magazine and newspaper articles that depict it in an open and positive fashion will help in getting Her interested. There are many books available that introduce the concept of Female Domination, one that i can recommend is 'The Mistress Manual' by Lorelei, which will introduce Her to FD/ms on an entertaining and basic level. Another book that may be of assistance is 'Women on Top' by Nancy Friday. Goddess Lorena's, 'Femaria' is an excellent book on the subject on Female Dominance and slave training, but on a slightly more advanced level that you may wish to differ until after you have aroused a more definite in your Wife on the subject.
Hopefully this will stir an interest
for your Wife and allow you to feel more at ease about disclosing
your interest in Female Dominance/male submission, resulting in
a more open, rewarding and fulfilling relationship for both of
you. i am sure that once a Woman discovers how mutually satisfying
Female Domination can be, there will be no turning back for either
of you."
worshipper frank s.'s Advice: "When a man becomes
married to a Woman, he has already made a financial and an emotional
commitment to Her. The base seeds of a devotion and a submission
to Her are already there. Surely his 'kinky side and his unusual
fetishes' didn't just develop once he became married. The Woman
whom he was attracted enough to, to marry, had to have some of
the factors which have contributed to his lifelong submission,
if, indeed he is a true submissive.
i think that he should try a gradual plan rather than an outright
surprise. Show to Her the power that She has little by little.
Point out how Female Domination is slowly exerting itself into
the vanilla world. In movies, in music, on television, in clothing
that is now more acceptable in the vanilla world, Female's are
now showing their natural superiority and becoming dominant.
As the work which people in the world do, in order to make their
livings, becomes less physical, women are now exerting a true
domination in the workplace. They can now do the jobs, which are
not as physical as they once were, better than male counterparts.
They become the managers and the 'bosses.' i find it fascinating
that Goddess Lorena terms Her title as 'Boss of Goddess Club.'
A submissive husband should show this new world order to his wife.
He should show how important Her looks and Her mind are to him.
He has to show Her that Her personality is more important than
his, thus making Her the more dominant of the two.
i think he should try his hardest to make his Wife his Mistress
before he goes outside. One of Goddess Lorena's teachings is that
a male should not be allowed a pursuit of Female Supremacists
merely to satisfy fetish cravings. If he has the potential of
being submissive then there is no place better to start than in
his own house,
Assuming that the two are in a sensual relationship a gradual
introduction of the physical nature of Female Supremacy can also
be put forward. A little bit of ass-kissing would be allowed.
This may in turn lead to actual ass-worship. Once this is accepted
he can start with caressing, cuddling, and then kissing Her feet.
Soon foot worship may be an accepted ritual in the bedroom. They
idea is to show to Her that She has control over Her husbands
sexual desires. The power is Hers. The rest of the world is using
it, so, now, maybe She can start. If She begins to understand
Her power and potential control, the male may then make a bolder
move and mention ropes and maybe handcuffs.
The idea is to make his wife his Mistress. Why search elsewhere
if the potential is already within his grasp. i believe that Her
introduction to the bdsm scene should be a little bit at a time.
But not so that he believes that She is initially totally unaware
of what it is. If She is a bright person, as all true Mistresses
have to be, then She has to have an inkling of Female Supremacy.
She only has to be shown that She has the power, and that their
is already a person, in Her own home, to use that power on.
Outside of psychological and physical aspects of their relationship,
he can do more concrete things. Put Her name on all the important
papers. Such as the house and the car. Slowly give Her dominance
over the life of the two of You as a couple. Help to put Her in
charge. Do not use Her as a means to the satisfaction of your
submissive desires. Those you may get later if you prove yourself
to be really submissive to Her."
worshipper slave x.j.'s Advice: "This is a tough state
of affairs. Telling a wife about one's fetishes has been known
to end marriages. Therefore, letting the wife in on one's secret
must be done with extreme caution. What i am saying is that honesty
is not always the best policy. Start slow and make suggestions
then slowly allow Her to explore dominating you. Bondage is a
good jumping off point. From that point on one can encourage Her
dominant side. Sooner or later you'll end up being Her slave.
If one is too abrupt, then one might send Her screaming and running.
That is why it is important to go slow, and pull back at the slightest
hint that She might "freak out". If you sense that She
will not except this part of you, then it is best you kept it
a secret."
worshipper roger k.'s Advice: "After a while, once
you feel confortable with your relationship with your wife, you'll
realise that their's no need to ask such a question. By then,
you should know her enough to know if she's somewhat interested
in that kind of thing or not. Otherwise, you're probably not spending
much time with her."
Goddess Alison's Advice: "What's nuts is you don't
tell Her. We gets lots of Ladies that are new to this. Why don't
you......." Click
here to read more
Goddess D.'s Advice: "Step 1.: ............................................................................................................................."
Click here
to read more
Goddess C.'s Advice: "With all relationships, good communication
is essential, and while maintaining openness is generally a good
policy there are areas such as this where it is necessary to tread
very carefully. There are two things to consider here. Firstly
there is ................." Click
here to read more
Lady K.'s Advice:
"It all depends on how receptive and openminded your wife
is to begin with. One thing you might try is ...." Click here to read more
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