Matriarchal History of Supreme Goddess La Reigna

Mother of Supreme Goddess La Reigna

Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday so I have decided to write about My Mother. On May 6, I had celebrated My Grand Mother's (My Mother's Mother) Birthday, so they are both on My mind at this time.

My Mother often talked about Her Mother, expressing a great sadness over how Her Mother had lived and died. My Grand Mother was a Dutch Woman who made the mistake of marrying a certain Russian/Polish man. Not only had he been through alot during the war and had grown to hate Russia (his family fled from the Russians and hid near the Russian/Polish border) but he was a despicable man who betrayed his Wife and children. Having grown too fond of the housekeeper, he chose to rid of his Wife by having Her committed to a mental institution (where She later died) so he could marry the housekeeper. My Mother always talked about how everyone knew Her Mother was not crazy but somehow he managed to convince the doctors. It is possible he managed this based on Her psychic abilities (which My Mother must have inherited from Her, because I then inherited it from My Mother.) (If I also inherited My Mediumship abilities from My Grand Mother and Mother, and not from My NDE at birth, then that would certainly have helped him even more so in getting his Wife committed. In those times Women were not respected for having such spiritual powers, but were instead feared by men.) My grandfather did not stop there, for he also placed My young Mother and all of Her siblings in an Orphanage. My Mother shared with Me how devastating this was. She tried hard to keep all of Her siblings together so they were not seperated, and the other Orphans often teased them, insisting that they were Orphans and parentless like themselves. My Mother wanted desperately to visit with Her Mother in the mental institution but was forbidden this. Due to this tragedy My Mother became Mother to Her siblings, but later in life saw too much of Herself in Her Mother and eventually committed Herself also (voluntarily), insisting that She too needed treatment. She lived a life in and out of psych wards, being placed on medications, having electroshock therapy, and when out of the psych ward She preferred to remain at home in bed when not happily wed. (She married several times, but not as much as My father, Her first husband. My father has married 9 or 10 times. I lost count after his 8th Wife. My Mother was his second Wife).

I look at My Mother's wedding pictures taken when She had married My father, and She actually looked very happy (as do most newlywed couples). (As I write this My favorite song "She's So High" by Tal Bachman now plays on the radio.) She smiles sweetly like an innocent young Girl. I never forget Her childlike giggle. I always loved My Mother's giggle. She never smiled that sincerely ever again. I have seen Her other smiles, the ones when I visited Her, and the smiles in Her other wedding pictures to the arrogant abusive men She married, but those smiles are not the same. Her innocence and love for life was gone.

My Mother and father fought often (he did with most of his Wives). She was usually bedridden with a cold and taking too many medications while My father would come and go from work. She would get up to make dinner but most of the time I remember Her from My childhood She was in bed. It is no wonder My first childhood toy I remember is the nurse's kit. Perhaps My Mother bought it hoping I would become Her nursemaid. But alas I would not be able to play Mother Teresa, which I might have been fated for, because My parents divorced when I was only four and My father had Me placed in several foster homes to prevent My Mother from getting custody of Me. he managed to convince the social workers that She was the one abusing Me when it was really him who was beating Me. Yes My Mother made a few foolish mistakes when disciplining Me, but My father was the real violent abuser, beating Me severely and regularily with his belt and large sticks (once when I was seven I had to be hospitalized because of one particular beating he gave Me). Strangely enough it was My father who got custody of Me after their divorce was finalized. But enough about that, I am here to write about My Mother today.

In adulthood when ever I went to visit My Mother (usually on holidays) She always conveniently came down with a sudden illness and asked Me to attend to Her and cook the holiday dinner. One time it annoyed Me so much that I actually walked out and left. If only I had studied astrology sooner then I would have realized that not only was She attempting to portray Her Mother, but being born on July 17 She was also playing out what Cancer signs often do; the "whoa is me" sympathy complex. I know many other people who are born under the Cancer zodiac symbol and they all enjoy being sick and whining about their many ailments. Not that My Mother was not sick. She was. She had very weak lungs. She smoked one cigarette on occasion when having one or two drinks with a mate, but not enough to harm Her lungs. It is likely that She was born with weak lungs. The second to last time I saw Her She had been coughing up mucus but admitted to Me that She was sometimes coughing up blood as well. I immediately demanded that She make an appointment to have a doctor look into it. She informed Me that She was already planning on it. Although She never kept that appointment to have Her lungs pumped of fluid (I do not blame Her. After Her death I talked to Her doctor and he was an asshole about My Mother's many ailments). So She stubbornly continued to cough up blood. I visited Her a few months later on Mother's Day and was happy to see Her looking better. She was taking medication for Her lungs and had left Her most recent husband and was dating someone new who She liked very much. After Our visit She walked Me out and begged Me to promise Her that I will return on Her upcoming birthday. I had never seen Her looking so desperate. It caught Me by surprise, but I gave in and promised, even though I could not be certain if I could make the trip again and so soon. Regretfully I never kept My promise. I live with that guilt forever now because She died a few months later. She did not get Her lungs pumped of blood and fluid, Her asshole doctor over perscribed the dosage of the medication, She went to a second doctor to get antidepressants as well, and the night She died She foolishly went out drinking because a Female friend of Hers had changed Her mind last minute about allowing My Mother to visit Her that week. She returned home from drinking, took Her over perscribed dosage of two medications, turned the tea kettle onto low heat on the stove, went into the bathroom, and died there on the floor slumped over the bathroom tub. She remained there for two weeks before anyone found Her. Everyone assumed She had gone away to visit that Female friend of Hers. The autopsy reported that She had bronchial pnemonia as well as hardened heart arteries. The real cause of death remains unsolved. I think She really died of heartbreak. She died at an early age of 52, ten years less than Her own Mother had lived.

A psychic told Me that all the Women on My Mother's side of the family and for several generations have been abused and murdered by men.

Another psychic told Me that My soul purposely chose My parents and this life because it would make Me who I am now and who I will soon become; a Spiritual Teacher.

Would My Matriarchal Grand Mother, who must have passed on Her abilities to Me, be proud of who I am becoming?

Would My Mother, who insisted on naming Me "The Queen", also be proud of who I am becoming?

I hope so. I hope She can forgive Me for not keeping My promise of returning to visit Her on Her last birthday.

I feel blessed to have inherited alot from My Mother and Her Mother. They both were devout Catholics, which I study in depth (My Mother must have been overjoyed when I was born on the Virgin Mother Mary's Birthday of September 8). We also all share the same favorite colours; black and red. I wish I knew so much more about My Grand Mother. I know I would have gotten along well with Her since She was a Taurus. How I wish I had met Her. If only I knew what She had looked like and had a picture of Her. I bet She was beautiful like My Mother was.

Happy Mother's Day, to you two wonderful Women, where ever you are now. I hope you are living a much better life than Your previous one. For You and all Women I shall try to remain unmarried and dedicate My life to teaching others to respect Womankind.

Supreme Goddess La Reigna of GoddessClub.com

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